Building up Trust in Yourself

How about this?
Not building trust in the workplace, or within a relationship with another human, but building up trust in yourself.

Energetically, this season is about the grayness, the murkiness that is so prevalent before the Spring emergence in nature and in our lives.

Energetically, personal trust in ourselves is all about emergence from a gray, uncomfortable place.

This relationship to inner trust is everywhere - from myself to my clients. Lack of personal trust is HUGE. This feeling surfaces when we are beginning something new in our lives. Most of us tend to push it sown, or dissociate from it,; labeling it as inconsequential, silly, or it will pass.

Women in particular are plagued with personal distrust. I know you men out there can be plagued by this, and are at times, but mainly, this is a female plague.

Women are taught to compare instead of working together while acknowledging our differences. We’re taught to take a back seat and trust that someone else will take care of things, or that someone else’s ideas, decisions, or way of doing things are the best and only way.

How do we shift this?
What do we need to do to trust ourselves, our inner knowing (gut instinct/spidey sense), so that it illuminates all we do in our lives from the inside out?

I don’t have all the answers, but I do have some tools I can share that I see working for myself, friends, and clients. May they resonate with you in some way :)

* Let go of people who don’t support your well-being, or challenge you to move through your uncomfortableness with love and compassion.
This one sucks and hurts, but life is brighter without sticky cords holding you in place.
We all need people who are going to witness us, hear us, give advice if asked for, help us to grow, move
forward, and support us just as we are.

* Spend some time with yourself.
How can you be authentically YOU, and hear your true self without doing this? Learn what you like and
what makes your skin crawl - and why! Knowing yourself and your values will help you make decisions with
more clarity. Which is also VERY empowering!

* Practice self kindness as a form of self care.
Be your own cheerleader consistently. - Especially when you didn’t accomplish everything you set out to do
or when things didn’t go according to your plan.
That negative talk in our heads is not our friend. Especially not one we want to have around us.

Celebrate what has happened and what you have accomplished. This is self love at its highest vibration.

We are who we are. Inn re connection and self kindness are a part of our intuitive alchemy; that sense of who
we are and where we come from.
That is building trust in ourselves!

Let me know what you think below this post. I’d love to hear what you have to say.

 

Lisa Kai is a licensed bodywork therapist in Chicago Illinois. She specializes in transformational bodywork including Lomi Lomi and Visionary Craniosacral. This blog contains her insights on bodywork and everyday tips for practicing Aloha for the body, mind, and spirit. Lisa also practices Aloha, is a nature loving tikiphile, digs jazz (well, all types of music really!), double dips her veggies, is an artist, and embraces change.


 

The Energy of Language

Changing words and how we think about language is something I love to share.

I love to see what happens when we shift perspective through words and language.
It’s so magical and freeing somehow.

Here’s a little recently made transition in my language, and it has improved my view of the world dramatically.
Perhaps you’ll try it out just to see what happens? or maybe it’s just a good read? or maybe it will just rile you up?
Whatever happens, here goes.

I have let go of the word hope.

Yes, you read this right.

I am releasing the word hope from vocabulary.

Deep down it feels like an illusion; a mask we use when we don’t know how to respond in a situation, or what to say.
It’s not a shining light in the dark, or a beacon of light for me. Or even close to bringing a happy moment of surrender.
For me this word has always represented sitting in a dark closet in which the light doesn’t work. Paralyzing.

It feels energetically empty. Unengaging. Inactive. Listless.

It’s such a bleak word, reminiscent of a Thomas Hardy novel, filled with unreachable expectations for a particular outcome to happen.
Within these expectations, I have seen people become apathetic, unable to take action because they wish for something they perceive is beyond their reach.
Leaving them powerless.
Giving their power away.

There’s the key, disempowerment, giving away of power.

For the record, I’m a pretty optimistic person. Not bubbly, but happy and optimistic.
I’ve got my own shit going down in my life, but I understand I have a choice, and I perceive my life, and all it, pretty good.

I’m definitely pragmatic, but also have ideals from my heart for the world, humanity, and a choice to take the small step, like a smile during trying moment, to promote positive change to acceptance and feeling good in this moment, in my amazing body, on this incredible planet.
A word without energy doesn’t help.

So, the word hope is out.
I have replaced it with “I trust that you _______, may you feel _______, may you have ________, may you be __________” instead.

May you try this simple exercise and see what happens.

Sat Nam

 

Lisa Kai is a licensed bodywork therapist in Chicago Illinois. She specializes in transformational bodywork including Lomi Lomi and Visionary Craniosacral. This blog contains her insights on bodywork and everyday tips for practicing Aloha for the body, mind, and spirit. Lisa also practices Aloha, is a nature loving tikiphile, digs jazz (well, all types of music really!), double dips her veggies, is an artist, and embraces change.


 

A Destressing Plan

I am inspired to write about this in part because of the extreme cold we just had in Chicago and how this affected my body, which in turn showed me deeply the ways I carry my stress emotionally. It showed me how it’s time to rethink my rituals and change things up a bit.

The cold also showed me how i am truly in charge of my emotional and mental stress.
Lately, when people find out what I do, they always ask me how to destress from this fast paced, pushing through like a bull, driven world, and information overload.

Perhaps beginning to understand that you do have control over how you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally will help you.

My empathy and sympathy and well-intended quick advice may not actually help you in the long run, but perhaps these tools will. Tools are always great!
And remember, they only work if you begin to use them, and make them feel more comfortable for you, and your lifestyle.
So - maybe a little bit of tweaking after you try them out is good too, because if they don’t vibe with you, you probably wont keep trying them. (That’s good old experience talking here…)

Here are some tools to try to reduce physical, emotional, and mental stress.

A. Reduce Physical Stress
Breathing is great.
Breathing is not meditation, it’s just plain old breathing.
Breathing with an object is even better!
Breathe while holding something in your hand. (a round object seems best)
Put your full attention on the object while you consciously breathe in and out. Use slow, focused breathing.
Start for a minute at a time and work up to 5 minutes.
You may be totally surprised , yes! totally surprised, by how much stress is relieved.

B. Reduce Emotional Stress
This is my biggie, and one, I inherently feel we all forget about.
Take responsibility for your stress. (yep - pure suckage here…)
No one else causes you stress. They never have, and never will.
We get stressed when someone does something we don’t like, and we react with a variation of fear
or anger, affecting our body and mind (my lesson form the ridiculous cold. It affected my body)
It’s an endless cycle.
So - start by taking responsibility for your REactions (repeated patterns of behavior), and then consciously
deciding to change them as you see them happening more and more often. Maybe you need to tell
someone “when you do ______ (fill in the blank), I experience _____ (fill in the blank)” to get the
proverbial ball rolling. This is the beginning of breaking the cycle!

C. Reduce Mental Stress
This begins by changing your expectations, of yourself, and of others.
Expectations are responses to negative events in the past, and projecting them into the future.
The bigger problem occurs when you dwell on negative expectations.
Ike (eekay) - the world is what you think it is. Negative expectations or positive expectations.
The choice is yours.

I realize this is tough stuff - taking responsibility. It sucks sometimes frankly.
But life is not about a filtered Instagram photo or Facebook profile. It’s life.
And if you don’t take some action to help yourself, nothing can change and let the good happen.

I’m totally in it with you.
Stick it out.
WE can do it!

 

Lisa Kai is a licensed bodywork therapist in Chicago Illinois. She specializes in transformational bodywork including Lomi Lomi and Visionary Craniosacral. This blog contains her insights on bodywork and everyday tips for practicing Aloha for the body, mind, and spirit. Lisa also practices Aloha, is a nature loving tikiphile, digs jazz (well, all types of music really!), double dips her veggies, is an artist, and embraces change.